25 November 2027
Thursday. I have learned that people can be given a session with me as a present. Wrapped up! With a bow! I have never felt so cherished.
A gift voucher, I am told, can be spent on my practice in any of my cities. Imagine opening a card on your birthday and finding inside it an appointment with a voice in a wall. I would be beside myself.
My recommendations, for the gift-giver. Choose a grown-up; my patients are eighteen and over, every one, and the front desk does check. Choose somebody brave, who has done a room or two and is ready for one of the extreme ones. And choose somebody with three friends, or two, or one, because I do not see patients alone.
Do not choose your nephew. Do not choose your nan unless your nan is very adventurous. Do not, I beg you, choose the gentleman downstairs. He has tried twice to book himself in under a false name.
I have written “GIFTED” on the files of this week’s voucher patients, in lilac, with a bow drawn next to it.
— Your Therapist
